The inspiration for this blog post stems from a conversation yesterday with an old friend of my parents who happens to be a basketball coach. For some reason he began recanting stories about George Gervin, a.k.a. “The Iceman” (including referencing the above poster, which is indeed pretty awesome). I noted that not only was Gervin an exceptional player, he also possessed one of the best nicknames in the history of the NBA.
This gave me the idea to rank the 50 best nicknames in NBA history. I’m sure there are other such lists already floating around the internet, but I didn’t consult any of them. I did consult a rather exhaustive collection of player nicknames, which even included some nicknames I’ve never heard (“Ricky Buckets” for Ricky Davis and “G-Money” for Grant Hill, to name two awful ones).
As a general rule I excluded players whose nickname was better known than and/or effectively replaced their first name. So you won’t see Mookie Blaylock, Muggsy Bogues, Speedy Claxton, Bimbo Coles, Sleepy Floyd, Penny Hardaway, Magic Johnson, Smush Parker, Pooh Richardson, Doc Rivers, Tree Rollins, or Spud Webb on this list. And for players with multiple nicknames, I only ranked what I determined in my opinion to be the player’s “best” nickname.
So without further ado, here’s my Top 50. If you disagree with the order or think I omitted someone, feel free to chime in.
50. Delonte West- “The Uncle” If you don’t get this one just Google “Delonte West and LeBron James mom.”
49. Zach Randolph- “Z-Bo” While I think the “T-Mac” first initial of first name-first syllable of last name style of nicknaming is the laziest trend ever and has greatly hindered the art of nicknaming in the 21st century, I’ll make an exception for this since there is know “Bo” in Randolph.
48. George Glamack- “The Blind Bomber” Apparently this 1940s star had such poor eyesight he measured his shots using the painted lines on the floor.
47. Darrell Griffith- “Dr. Dunkenstein” I don’t think this nickname has aged all that well. It’s a lot cornier and clunkier than the other classic nicknames from the late 70s-early 80s, but we’ll give it props for the creativity.
46. Billy Cunningham- “The Kangaroo Kid” In case you couldn’t tell, this is a 1960s nickname for a guy who could jump really high.
45. Tim Duncan- “The Big Fundamental” Bland but effective, much like Tim Duncan’s game.
44. Glenn Robinson- “Big Dog” Simple and gruff, perfect for a guy who starred at Purdue and then in Milwaukee.
43. Damon Stoudamire- “Mighty Mouse” I’m pretty sure this is the only guy on the list whose nickname comes from a cartoon character.
42. Kobe Bryant- “The Black Mamba” Kobe contrived this nickname for himself at a stage in his career when he didn’t really need one. Still, it’s so bizarrely creative it deserves a spot on the list.
41. Joe “Jellybean” Bryant Probably the only list where Joe Bryant ranks ahead of his son.
40. LeBron James- “King James” Proclaiming LeBron “King” before he ever played a game was just as premature as the Heat celebrating winning the 2011 title in July 2010, but he’s lived up to the hype and the biblical reference is sharp.
39. Rafer Alston- “Skip to My Lou” All the players on the And1 Mixtape Tour have awesome nicknames, and Alston was the first to go from the And1 Tour to the NBA.
38. Jason Williams- “White Chocolate” Self-explanatory.
37. Isiah Thomas- “Zeke” Slick and monosyllabic. And supposedly created by Bill Laimbeer, which explains the simplicity.
36. Kevin Durant- “Durantula” I don’t know why this nickname hasn’t caught on more. One of the few genuinely creative nicknames in the present day. Yet probably more people refer to Durant as “KD.” Ugh.
35. Vince Carter- “Air Canada” Accurately captured a young Vince Carter as both an amazing dunker and the face of the league’s only Canadian franchise. Also paid a fitting tribute to another high-flying Tar Heel…
34. Michael Jordan- “Air Jordan” A solid nickname for the greatest of all-time. And some pretty sweet shoes.
33. Fred Hoiberg- “The Mayor” Hoiberg actually got this nickname at Iowa State for how popular he was in his Ames, Iowa hometown (where he now is the head coach of the Cyclones), but it stuck with the sharpshooter throughout his pro career.
32. Shawn Marion- “The Matrix” Another underrated and under-utilized modern nickname, “The Matrix” does a good job of capturing Marion’s other-worldly athleticism and hectic style of play.
31. Paul Pierce- “The Truth” Pierce’s veracious nickname is well known, but oddly seems to have curtailed in popularity in recent years despite his 2008 Finals MVP performance.
30. Marvin Webster- “The Human Eraser” Classic nicknaming technique: create a superhero-type name that accentuates a player’s most well-known attribute (in this case, shot-blocking).
29. Bryant “Big Country” Reeves The 7 foot, 265-pound small-town Oklahoma native had a much better nickname than NBA career, the latter of which was derailed by injuries.
28. Nate “Tiny” Archibald From “Big Country” to “Tiny.” The 6-time All-Star was selected one of the NBA’s 50 Greatest players and is a member of the Hall of Fame, but more people under 25 probably better identify the name Nate Archibald with a character on Gossip Girl. Sad.
27. Robert Horry- “Big Shot Bob” Not many role players win 7 titles with 3 teams, but Horry had a knack for coming through in the clutch. There seems to be some debate as to whether the end of us nickname should be “Bob” or “Rob,” but I went with “Bob” for alliterative purposes.
26. James Worthy- “Big Game James” Of course, Horry’s nickname is a bit of rip-off of the 1988 Finals MVP’s. That and the fact that Worthy’s individual career far exceeded Horry’s puts him slightly higher on this list.
25. “Clyde The Glide” Drexler Rhyming with a player’s first name is always a nice touch, particularly when it effectively captures the player’s style of play.
24. “Hakeem The Dream” Olajuwon But be it their Phi Slamma Jamma days, the 1995 World Champions, or a list of the greatest nicknames, Drexler was always the Robin to Olajuwon’s Batman.
23. Charles Barkley- “The Round Mound of Rebound” Even his playing days, Barkley was a little on the chubby side, but the loquacious superstar embraced his somewhat derisive moniker.
22. Chris Andersen- “Birdman” I haven’t found a satisfactory explanation of exactly why Andersen is called “Birdman,” but it just seems to fit.
21. Dennis Rodman- “The Worm” One of the NBA’s most eccentric players ever fittingly had an equally unorthodox handle.
20. “Never Nervous Pervis” Ellison Ability to handle pressure is the mark of a great player. When you can capture that unflappability by rhyming with a player’s first name, you’ve got a great nickname.
19. Glen “Big Baby” Davis 6-9, 290 with the face of a 12-year old and a propensity for whining at officials. What else would you call him?
18. Shaquille O’Neal- “The Big Aristotle” Shaq has about 800 nicknames, but I went with my favorite of his self-appointed monikers. A clever and amusing creation from the man with a personality as big as his 7-1, 325 pound frame.
17. David Robinson- “The Admiral” Robinson attended the Naval Academy and postponed his professional career in favor of two years of military service. A great player and an even better man.
16. Darryl Dawkins- “Chocolate Thunder” Just awesome.
15. “Thunder Dan” Marjele “Thunder Dan” was just about everybody’s favorite player in NBA Jam, and one of the great white dunkers of all-time.
14. Robert Parish- “The Chief” Originally named after the silent giant in One Flew Over the Cuckcoo’s Nest, “The Chief” later came to embody Parish’s seniority and longevity as much as his quiet demeanor: his 1,611 games played over 21 seasons is a league record.
13. Karl Malone- “The Mailman” While the NBA’s 2nd all-time leading scorer had a remarkably consistent career, “the Mailman” didn’t always deliver: he never won a championship.
12. Gary Payton- “The Glove” A fitting handle for one of the game’s greatest perimeter defenders.
11. Jerry West- “The Logo” This nickname didn’t come til late in West’s career, when the NBA unveiled its current logo, which includes a silhouette of the Laker great.
10. Robert “Tractor” Traylor A great pun on the late big man’s last name. RIP.
9. “Downtown Freddie” Brown This catchy rhyming moniker is the reason why announcers to this refer to three-pointers as shots “from downtown.”
8. David Thompson- “Skywalker” No, this isn’t a Star Wars reference. David Thompson was Michael Jordan’s favorite player growing up in the 70s. And like MJ, Thompson could fly.
7. Shawn Kemp- “The Reign Man” There were few players more fun to watch in their prime than “The Reign Man,” a nickname which includes wordplay, insinuations of royalty, an allusion to a popular movie, and reference to the Seattle climate.
6. “Earl the Pearl” Monroe Slick, much like the playground legend’s game.
5. Allen Iverson- “The Answer” Far and away the greatest nickname in recent memory. Bold and authoritative, just how Iverson played. While he may not have been the post-MJ “savior” his nickname seemed to suggest, he nonetheless had an exceptional career.
4. Vinnie Johnson- “The Microwave” The mark of a great scorer off the bench, Johnson could heat up in a hurry.
3. George Gervin- “The Iceman” George Gervin and trademark finger roll embodied cool. I mean, check out that poster again.
2. Julius Erving- “Dr. J” Classic. The ABA was full of great nicknames, but it’s greatest player had the best one.
1. “Pistol Pete” Maravich One of the game’s greatest scorers’ nickname might not stand out at first glance with its rather simple alliteration, but it’s held up over the years.
